I feel God asking me to share something very honest and personal. I don’t have a huge “blog following,” but maybe there is someone who needs to hear this. I don’t really know what this is yet, but I know He will reveal it to me as I go. And maybe its not YOU but ME who needs to hear it.
Last December, as our lives felt like they were crumbling before our eyes and we were broken and in our darkest hour, I still felt God. I still knew that He was in control. I was ANGRY and SAD, but I knew that it was all part of His plan (and that might have made me MORE angry and sad). Everything that happens to us passes through His hands first. So, God LETS bad things happen to us. Don’t think for a minute that God is unable to protect us from evil.
As I prayed for peace with everything that was happening, I began to think of my Heavenly FATHER. I thought of the role he plays as “Dad” instead of “God.” Does that make sense? I thought of my husband and what a great dad he is. There is no question in my mind that he LOVES his children. He always has their best interests at heart, but even still, there are times he allows them to mess up in order to teach them. He allows them to fall off their bike to learn balance. He allows them to fail a test to learn the importance of studying. He allows them to go through heartbreak to teach them forgiveness. He allows them to fail and get hurt and be (temporarily) broken. And he LOVES them. How much more does God, the One who created us, breathed life into us, LOVE us? He is, afterall, our “Dad.”
So, after the tragedy, you’re left with the lesson. Sometimes its abundantly clear, sometimes- well, it’s not. But no matter the lesson, its from the Lord. It’s His timing. It’s His will. It’s His purpose. He might allow us to fall or fail or break, but He will bring us through it renewed in some way.
I used to pray for protection over my family, for blessings, for love. But why? We don’t ask our earthly father to love us and protect us- that’s just what daddies do. Unless they don’t. Unless they feel its in our own best interest to experience the fall, the struggle, or the brokenness. As I grow nearer, and He molds me and teaches me, I’ve changed the way I pray. I am no longer asking my Father to love me and protect me and give me every good thing. I now ask my Father to help me submit to His Will. To let me see the lesson in the tragedy. To teach me. To give me peace so that I may use every situation to glorify Him. I ask Him to soften my heart. I ask Him to forgive me where I fall short. I thank Him for His mercies and grace. But I don’t ask for protection. As long as I’m on this earth, I will never know why our family had experience the things we did over the last year, but my God knows why. And he loves us so big that I know, it was all for His purpose.