Self-Loathing Maniac!

With everything that’s going on with Charleigh, work, Next Steps, the Lions Club, CFPC (along with trying to be a good momma and wife!) – I’m feeling overwhelmed.  Like on the verge of a break-down kind of overwhelmed.  I’m not typically someone to wallow in self pity, but I think a little pity party might be in the cards tonight.  Yeah, I’m THAT girl tonight….

I find myself being short with my husband and kids. (Always the first sign that something in my life has gone awry.)  I am a child of God first;  I am a wife and mother second, and a volunteer and employee third.  So, if the third thing on my list is starting to affect and efffect the first two, I’m doing it wrong.  That’s sort of the theme here lately- “I’m doing it wrong.”  So, after I apologize to the 67 people I’ve been rude to over the last three days, I guess I should re-evaluate a bit and get back in the game.

But here’s the part that keeps me from ACTUALLY having a breakdown- remember when I said I was a child of God first?  Well, that comes with some MAJOR perks.  First of all is His GRACE.  Second is His power to change my heart.  He’s working on me everyday.  And He’s not done yet.  So I’m having a pity party tonight because I’ve been a jerk and I’ve screwed up at work and I’ve let some people down, but the good news is that when I go to bed tonight- its done.  I get to wake up to a new day and a new me.  Seriously, how great is my God!?

The RIGHT way to PRAY

I think its fair to say that most of us are under the impression that there’s no wrong way to pray.  However and whenever is good as long as you’re doing it.  WRONG.  Jesus teaches us how to pray with The Lord’s prayer. 

I just spent about an hour watching Andy Stanley’s Prayer (Permission to Speak Freely) videos.  During these videos, Andy breaks down The Lord’s Prayer and teaches the way God wants us to pray… and why!

After watching, I rushed to my blog because I had to document this for future reference.  This is too good to forget!

If you have 50 or so mins to kill, don’t turn on the TV and watch a stupid reality show- watch these YouTube videos.  They will change the way you pray!

part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwm5qK0bubE

part 2:h ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LECEM1Ey5EA

part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pVr0kksAD4

 

I jotted down a few notes as I listened to the right way to pray…  Here’s what I wrote:

step one: Go to your room, and close the door.  Get intimate.

step two: Recognize His worth and praise it.  Declare His greatness.

step three: Surrender yourself to His will.  THY WILL BE DONE!

step four: Aknowledge your dependency.  Whether you have a little or you have a lot- its all from the Lord.

step five: Don’t spend so much time on what you need or want from God because He already knows!

step six: Don’t quit asking!  Your persistent prayer has the power to change the heart of God.

 

So, I’ve been praying WRONG.  How about you?

What’s for Dinner?

Before I had kids I used to say things like, “…my kids would NEVER…”  and “…if you can’t get a babysitter, don’t go out to eat….” and “…can you believe they let their kid…?”

Almost every single thing I said would never happen, has happened.  Maybe even happening right now.  I’m pretty sure everyone person knows the kind of parent they’re going to be…. until they become a parent.

Red and I took the kids out to eat with a few other friends and their families.  Our night started out with Charleigh insisting on sitting in the only “taken” seat at her table.  That beautiful princess sure can throw a fit and embarrass her momma like no other.  Following that, there was a fist fight over my scarf.  Calm down, I wasn’t involved.  Just Liam and Charleigh.  Justin followed that up with an order of Dr. Pepper (we don’t allow the kids to have caffeine).  After Red, Skye and Kyle finished up their drink orders, the waiter approached me for mine.  I told him what I wanted as well as drinks for Liam and Charleigh.  He asked me how many drinks were on my ticket.  I answered, “seven.”  He asked me again; I told him again.  He asked me AGAIN- I then told him that I was aware that seven drinks was too many, but that’s what we were working with- please move on.  After our food came, Kyle refused to eat because the Orange Chicken he ordered was too “orangey.”  Charleigh threw yet another fit because she and Liam had to split a plate.  Liam taunted her with her own fries.  Charleigh kept leaving the table to go into the hall… The entire night was a…. mess.  Five kids is a mess.  Life is a mess.  But that night- with my five kids, my grumpy husband, my good friends, their messy kids and messy lives-  was one of my favorites.

I can only imagine what other people were saying about our group…. As Charleigh was running off, Benjamin was throwing his sippy cup, Liam was throwing punches, Whitt was on his iPhone, and all the parents were just hamming it up, enjoying eachother’s company and knowing that SOMETIMES, THIS is LIFE.

I am not condoning bad behavior in public- all I’m saying is that every once in a while, its okay to eat your words.

Guilty As Charged

When you hear a fellow Mommy state that they do something differently than you, what is your first reaction?  It’s hard not to judge other parents’ techniques.  When you hear another mother admit that they let their six year old ride in the front seat to the grocery store as a “special treat,”  its hard not to let your mouth fall open in utter shock.  Its hard not to think that you are a superior momma.

Here’s what we must remember:  We’re all just trying our best.  Parenting is hard work.  And just because it doesn’t work for you and your family, doesn’t mean its wrong.  Well, letting your six year old ride in the front seat IS kinda wrong, but you catch the drift.

Bedtimes, TV hours, food and drink preferences, chores/allowance- these are all things that differ from family to family.  The next time you feel that urge to judge another family’s tactics, remember that they very well may be thinking the same thing about YOU!

Facebook Faux Pas

Recently I’ve posted a few things on facebook that might require a bit of explanation.

After leaving church tonight, I couldn’t get my computer up fast enough to post this disclaimer.  I feel the need to clarify because I want everyone to know where I’m coming from.  After you read this, feel free to judge.

In an ideal world, everyone would love and serve the Lord.  Everyone would love like Christ.  There would be no murder.  There would be no abortion.  There would be no poverty.  There would be no sin.  But that’s not this world.  That’s called Heaven.

Last night, I posted that I had a biblical view of abortion but agreed with Separation of Church and State.  The Bible tell us that TRUTH and EVIL cannot mix.  I agree.  My views are my own and I am not trying to push them on anyone else.  I am Pro-Life.  I CHOOSE to be Pro-Life.  I believe that a life starts at conception and to take that life is murder.  Murder is an illegal crime.  It has nothing to do with my relationship with my Savior.  I believe that all sin is equal and all sin is forgivable.  I serve a Lord whose grace is abundant.  With all of that said, I don’t think that religion has a place in politics.  Calm down, calm down.  Here’s why:

First of all, I believe it is our duty as Christians to spread the gospel, not the role of our government.  I think FORCING my religious beliefs on the entire country will turn off unbelievers that might have been saved in an other way.  Does my acceptance of Separation of Church and State make me a luke warm Christian?  Does it make me the awful TOLERANT, open-minded, new-age Christian?  Not in my mind.  I guess you will form that opinion on your own.

I believe that our country needs to base its policies on the Constitution, not the Bible.  Let’s not forget that the Lord gives us free will and allows us to choose salvation.  People came to this country for religious freedom.  As Christians, we should pray for our leaders and our fellow citizens.  We should pray that they are all convicted enough to make the right decisions in their personal lives.

I wanted to clarify my stance for a number of reasons, but the most important was to make sure that my comments did not hurt my witness.

I am a Christian.  I am Pro-Life.  I support the Separation of Church and State.  I know that I might be an odd-ball, but I am who I am.  I might change- its happened before- but for now, this is where I stand.

What’s Important…

So, blogging is definitely not my “thing.”  I’m terrible at it.  I can never seem to find the time.  I do, however, believe that we ALWAYS make time for what’s important to us.  Did you catch that “to us” part?  No two people’s priorities will ever be the same… While I love sipping coffee and reading other people’s blogs, I certainly hope that mine doesn’t become a favorite because these posts are few and far between.

So what HAVE I been making time for?  School is in, full-swing.  Liam has truly blown us out of the water with his academic abilities this year.  His teacher is a God-send.  Just the right combination of FIRM and LOVE (and a little bit of “momma,” too!) to keep my sensitive, but easily strayed boy on track.  Liam is working on sight words and sound blending.  Reading books with him has really become so much fun.  He is proud of himself and his confidence and satisfaction is not only proof that he’s “getting it,” but also that we’re raising him to know he’s a CAN-Kid.  (I’ll go into the difference in a Can-Kid and a Can’t-Kid some other time!)

Charleigh.  Sweet, beautiful, sassy Charleigh.  This child keeps us on our toes.  For the most part, Charleigh loves school.  Mornings?  Not so much.  Like her Momma, she’d rather stay under the covers until the sun comes up, but once we finally drag her out of bed, she’s eager to get out the door.  Her teacher is a familiar one to us- Liam’s previous teacher.  We requested her for Charleigh and never doubted her ability to handle “Liam’s little sister.”  Charleigh has given us quite a run for our money, though!  She’s a wonderful and well-behaved student.  Guess that means she saves all her sass for home!?  Sass aside, we are both pleasantly surprised and pleased with her attitude AND academics.  My children make me proud…

I thought there was a man in my life at one time, but I’m having a hard time placing him now… Red is BUSY to say the least.  He is the treasurer of Society Hill Friends of the Library.  He is a member of the VFW and the Lions Club.  He’s active in our church- in fact, he just finished up two weekends of Judgement House!  {Can I just brag for a minute?  MY husband participated in an event that led 449 people to make LIFE decisions about Christ!!  How awesome to be a part of THAT!}  He’s running for town council.  He’s a full-time student.  Volunteers just about anywhere he’s needed… all the while providing for our family.  I probably don’t give Red enough credit, but he’s pretty great.  I miss hanging out with him on the couch, but I know that he’s doing good things and he’s the kind of role model I want for our kids.

So there’s just me left.  I have been pretty busy myself.  Still working for The Man (my Dad).  Still taking pictures at all of the MOPS meetings and events.  Still active in the SH Community Outreach Program.  I accepted the position of Secretary there and have taken on the town’s newsletter.  Lions Club and Room Mom have been on the back burner lately.   I’ve been volunteering at the Carolina Family Planning Center a good bit and am taking a six-week  training course there.  A while ago, I prayed and sought out a “life changer.”  I do believe I have found it in CFPC.  So funny how the Lord leads us places.  They asked for a crib, and they got the crib and ME for good.  I have the honor of working with some amazingly inspirational and Godly women to start up a new program at the Center for teen mothers.  I never thought this is what I’d be doing with my life, but I do know that where He leads, I will follow.  There is no doubt that I am right where He wants me.  Great things are happening and I feel blessed that He’s chosen me to be part of them.

Speaking of Carolina Family Planning Center… We have a new addition to our family!  The sweetest, fuzziest puppy in the whole wide world has come to live with us.  The kids named him Oliver and it seems to fit.  Sid adores him, although it took a minute.  No idea what kind of dog or how big Oliver will be, but we’re sure enjoying him while he’s small!

I don’t have a ton of pictures to upload, but I’ll post a few Oliver and Red’s campaign poster headshot! 

Not Another Back-To-School Post

I sat down tonight, exhausted from the first week of school, but determined to get something posted for the sake of capturing those sweet “First Day of School” memories.  As I sat down, for maybe the first time today, I let my mind wander.  I thought about relationships.  Past relationships, current relationships, old relationships, newer relationships… I thought about the work that we put into them and what we get out of them in return.   I thought about my own marriage.

Red and I have been married for five “blissful” years.  We’re comfortable with each other.  Yes, that means he’s seen me on the toilet and I’ve seen him cry.  (That’s a brutal as it gets, right?) We’re happy.  But it takes work.  All relationships take work.  The moment you start taking the other person in your relationship (sibling, spouse, friend, etc) for granted- the moment you forget exactly what it is that they’re bringing to the table- is the moment you begin to drift.  The beginning of the end.  In a marriage, we do all kinds of things to keep that drift from happening.  Everything from weekly date nights to marriage counseling to “spicing it up.”  We put a lot of effort into keeping the fire lit in that relationship.

These thoughts lead me to thoughts of a bigger relationship.  An ultimate relationship.  The relationship above all others.  No, not my momma- my God.  MY God.  My God with whom I’ve had a rocky, but LONG relationship.  A relationship that, like all others, needs some work to keep the fire lit.  I know His love, but how often am I too busy to FEEL His love?  How often do I take His friendship, love, guidance, shelter and grace for granted?  In the beginning of my relationship, we were pretty hot for each other.  He was CHANGING me.  He was molding me.  As I began to live my life for Him, and the BULK of the work was done (I’ve got a long way to go!), I went from being hot for Him to those occasional, but so awesome “spiritual highs.”  { Spiritual highs are the equivalent to a super great conversation and meal alone with your husband.  They get you through the week, but if there’s not another one right around the corner, you’re going to begin that ever-dreaded drift.  }  Spiritual highs eventually tuned into a “faithful” relationship.  I love the Lord and He loves me.  I read the Bible and pray and sing my heart out on Sunday mornings.  But that’s not a relationship like He wants for us.  That’s not the relationship I want for us.  Where did that passion go?  I let the fire die.  HE sure tried to keep it burning- raging, in fact.  But I stopped bringing the good stuff to the table.  I focused on other relationships.  It’s now time to “spice it up!”

We put so much effort into making our spouse fall in love with us over and over again-  Why do we expect our relationship with the Lord to be any different?  He’s head over heels for us.  And oftentimes, we love Him, but aren’t IN LOVE WITH HIM.

I’m a work in progress.  Most days, I am a frazzled mess.  But His love is enough.  His grace is sufficient.  And all I have to do is put in a little effort to keep the fire lit.

“…Light the fire in my soul.  Fan the flame; make me whole.  Lord you know just where I’ve been, so light the fire in my heart again…”

 

So, I am not posting about the first day of school.  This was heavy on my heart tonight… I will say this, though- the first day was perfect.  Liam and Charleigh have wonderful teachers and they looked cute, too.  Don’t believe me?  See for yourself!